Military words of wisdom

  “A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade
launcher fire when you least expect it. That would
make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit.”        
-Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance.

  “Aim towards the Enemy”
– Instructions printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher

  “When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our
U.S. Marine Corps

  “Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate.
The bombs are guaranteed always to hit the ground.”
USAF Ammo Troop always

  “If the Enemy is in range, so are you.”
– Infantry Journal

  “It is generally inadvisable to eject over the area
you just bombed”
U.S. Air Force Manual

  “Whoever said the pen is mightier then the sword
obviously never encountered automatic weapons.”
– General MacArthur

  “Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.”
– Infantry Journal

  “Tracers work both ways.”
– U.S. Army Ordnance

  “Five second fuses only last three seconds”
– Infantry Journal

  “If your attack is going too well, you’re walking
into an ambush.”
– Infantry Journal

  “Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.”

  “Don’t draw fire; it irritates the people around

  “If you see a bomb technician running, follow him.”
USAF Ammo Troop

  “The only time you have too much fuel is when
you’re on fire.”

  “Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in
the ocean than submarines in the sky.”

  “When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane,
you always have enough power left to get you to the
scene of the crash.”

  The three most common expressions (or famous last
words) in aviation are: “Why is it doing that?”,
“Where are we?” and “Oh S***…!”

  “Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never
left one up there!”

  “Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a
flight bag to store dead batteries.”

  “If something hasn’t broken on your helicopter,
it’s about to.”

  Basic Flying Rules: “Try to stay in the middle of
the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of
the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground,
buildings, sea, trees and interstellar Space. It is
much more difficult to fly there.”

 “You know that your landing gear is up and locked
when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.”


Received via E-mail.  We regret being unable to properly credit all comments, but enjoy the humorour advice!

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